How to be Punk

Help Mail

Please use the following as a guide when writing help mail. This email helped me personally beyond words and is also the very cornerstone in the great website presented before you today.

From:
insaneclown123 "insaneclown1234@yahoo.com"
To:
haha326@hotmail.com
Subject:
ur siteM
Date:
Sun, 23 Jan 2005 09:41:36 -0800 (PST)

oh i just wont to help u with ur site as being a true punk u dont have a lot of money unless u make it the music inustery it does not matter were u shop as long as the clothes u buy arent poser like multi colered shit or ties t shirts are ok only solid colors though skateing is poser as hell unless u are good at it dont show off unless ur good at it or u will just look gay going to a sket park to practice is ok though it does not matter how much ur shoes cost or what they are as long as there not big and bulcky or basket ball shoes oh and chucks are poser as hell unless ur a girl same thing with trucker hats poser as hell unless ur a girl oh ya true punks dont listen to bowling for soup or avril they are poser very poser apiked hair is poser unless ur over 18 and the rest of the punks look up to u spiked hair is like a generals badge leather jackets arent poser when ur a teen and u listen to the misfits and shit like that but i f ur young and listen to avirl ur a poser and never say ur punk thats poser as hell say im me and no one elses busniess and being punk u really kind of have to play and insturment so start playing
o one more thing this whole web site is realy poser srry its the way it is i like how ur trying to help those little young posers though i hope u consider some of the things i have said on this mail this not hate mail just help mail.

Me:

thx fur tha help mann, ill chainj my sight rite away

This is not hate/help mail, but it's fucking hilarious so I chose to include it:

From:
caleb stone "caleb@Psychotic.zzn.com"
To:
derrp@howtobepunk.com
Subject:
You anti flag hating fascist traitor.
Date:
10 Jan 2006 22:08:58 -0000

You are a fuckin poser if you dont like anti-flag, anti-flag have the most powerful lyrics of all punk bands. for example "youve gotta die gotta die gotta die for your goverment, die for your country thats shit" You see i used to be in the army constantly thinking that i was dying for my country. One i was driving my tank along, to a war, thinking yay this might be the chance i can die for my country, then i thought i would put the radio on, and do you know what, that song came on, immediateli realised the error of my ways, radiod through to the other boys in my squadron "here boys, apparently we're dying for our goverment not for our country" "really, shit we've been wrong all these years" they said. we all turned our tanks around, went home and discharged from the army the same day. We all now spend all our time fighting against capatilism, the other day i spray painted on a wall, "the people of this country are being taken for fools" because you see everyone will walk past that and see and they will also notice the error of their ways and suddenly realise that anarchy is the true way forward, if that wont work i dont know what will. You are a fucktard for not liking anti flag, anti flag made punk what it is today. Fuckin poser wanker, i walked past a squat once so i know just as much about that life as you my friend. Anti flags song fuck police brutality changed me completely asswll because you see i also used to be a copper and i pulled someone over for going 2 miles over the speed limit and dragged them out the car and started to beat them violently. then a young lad with a mohican and leather jacket came up to me, obviously the most hardcore punk ever to walk the planet and he said "you shouldn't do that" and i questioned him why and he played that anti flag song to me, immediatley i stopped beating the man i pulled over and bought him some flowers in order to apologise and then gave him some money so he wouldn't be in poverty anymore which means he would no longer commit crime. You are a wanker for disrespecting anti flag, no other band can tear down the fascist capitalist system i am forced to live under every day. Fuck you poser.

Me:

oh mann! how dair you call me a fashist rrg!! i herd 1 of tha anti flag guyz went to mcdonalds once and got sum fries, so how can u say they are against capitalisem? i also herd teh leed singer owns factorys in indonesa that use child laybor!!! hows that for fashism?!?! mabe u shood do a LITTEL MOAR REESERCH b4 emaling me wit this junk. im a bizzy guy and i dunt have a lots of time to anser dumm emales from peepol hoo cant evin spell. good day ser.