How to be punk [the definitive guide]

Types of punk

Here it is, the moment of truth. Choose wisely. The right choice could make all your wildest dreams come true, the wrong one a life of suffering and despair. Remember, punk is pretty much just fashion, so pick what looks the best and the rest will follow.

  • Normal Punk

    Punk Rawker

    Normal punks are the coolest guys around. Nobody likes a dipshit loser who dresses and acts retarded...and these guys know it. Nothing says "OMG, I'm totally punk" like fauxhawks and pre-torn jeans.
  • Hot Topic Punk

    Hot Topic Punk

    Thrift stores are for dirty poor kids and Abercrombie is for conformists. Hot Topic is the way to prove what a hardcore punk you are, especially if money is no object. Clothes make the transvesti...err, man / woman, and packaged corporate identity is the mark of any good anti-systemic philosophy.
  • Real Punk

    REALLY Real Punk

    "Groovy"? "Peace"? Fuck that shit. From this day forward, the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be "OI!". Attitude is everything, so how can you go wrong with an attitude that says "fuck everything"? Being a REAL punk takes balls. Can you back it up?
  • Avril Lavigne is a skate punk and gives great blowjobs

    Sk8er Punk

    Skateboarding went out in, like, the 80's. That doesn't mean you can't OWN a skateboard though. In fact, any good skate punk wouldn't know a 3-flip from the inside of his asshole. That's because being punk is hard work...and how can you be good at it if you're out skateboarding all the time? Besides, you might get hurt...
  • Anarcho Vegan Punk

    Anarcho / Vegan Punk

    Anarchist punks are the most broad-minded of the group. Their delicate liberal mentality is complemented by a ferocious appetite for the destruction of anything that shows the slightest hint of inequality. Throw in veganism to mix and you've got mind-blowing discussions about oppression and poverty in well-heated coffee shops over a nice $8 vegan burger (extra victim mentality, please).